Every one, we find in our surroundings becomes irritate, incensed or out of temper either on a minor issue or for some other reason. How and why for, one falls prey to this spell of anger? We generally notice, a new born or suckling baby is unable to communicate her demand through a clear voice, in stead he expresses his expression by crying louder, as if, anger with some one. It often occurs, when a suckling baby is hungry or his diaper is soiled by piss or potty. He becomes angry and cries on the top of his voice. The same child when grown up and reaches to the age group of four to five years, begins to demand for some favorite toy and when his wish is not fulfilled, he throws in tantrum and begins to roll on the floor.
These are the instances that from the very beginning, human beings are prone to become angry on any issue. It’s another thing we give it another name. In case if a child insists persistently in the above said style, we call him a stubborn child. But whatsoever name we confer upon him, the issue of becoming angry remains the same. On becoming more grown up, we all too use to fall prey to this spell of anger in our life. Often, in a day, once or twice at least this anger infests us, willingly or unwillingly.
For a paradigm, when we are riding on motor bike and find a stranger violating the road safety rules, it causes us to become angry. Or when when we witness some offending scenes, we too begin to blame the decay of ethical norms in offenders. The cause of anger may sometimes be personal or social. Even atrocity being committed towards an innocent and sincere person also offends us. The state of being offended is also a form of anger.
We often don’t take notice of this element of anger in our diurnal life seriously. And if we begin to realize it, how many times in a day we get incensed, it will open our eyes wide enough. Naturally, this spell of anger also leads us to get mentally disturbed for a while or for long as well. But here the issue is, why do we get angry in our daily life? The factors majorly responsible for this are, “selfishness and our ideals!” Certainly, this may confuse you that how come this is possible?
At the beginning of this blog, I cited the example of suckling baby and an infant. The newly born when felt hunger, he cried. Why? Since, his hunger was not satiated instantly. Hence, it rose an anger in him and he begun to cry. The cry of child attracted the attention of the mother and child was fed by the mother properly. This is an example of intangible expression of selfishness. Likely to this, when an infant is denied to get a toy, he too becomes angry. That is another example of selfishness causing anger in him.
In the same way, when our parents demand from us to behave in certain ethical way and we don’t concede to that, it infuriate them. Since, this is against their expectations. This expectation of them is a form of “ego,” and when ego is hurt, it hurts the “self” of parents. Likely, when we ask some friend for some help and he refuses to help, it infuriates us. Since, our need of the time was not fulfilled. This need is “selfishness.” I cite another example. A friend in need, if asks for some minor financial help and you appease him by lending him some money. Now this incidence has got both sides of a coin.
One side was, if you had denied him the help, this might lead him to become angry with you. For his expectation in shape of money ( a form of selfishness) was not fulfilled. The another side of coin is; at the time of borrowing money, he promised you return the amount after a month. Now, if he fails to return the money, it now causes you to become angry, since your money is trapped. This also amounts to selfishness, albeit, the money was yours and its now confiscated.
Now look at the same paradigm with another different angle. If at the time of helping your friend, you honestly considered it that you will not demand the money back and inside your heart you forgot that amount on the very moment. Your interest in the money is lost and you don’t expect any return. Now you have quashed your selfishness and it will not hurt you if your friend don’t pay back the amount. Often, in our personal relation with friends and relatives, this factor of “selfishness” always plays the great role to become angry.
The another major factor is , “ideals or ideological aspects.’ Whole through in our life, we are forced to learn the ethics and laws in shape of civic sense or as social moorings applicable to our day to day life. We mug up all that and try to follow them. It cause us to become angry when we find some one violating the road safety rules or other sort of norms. In our daily life, we encounter so may corruptible officials or political leaders involved in scams. All this disturb us badly and we get infested with anger. Simply, because it all is against the ideals we have been taught.
When we find others not abiding with that it causes us to become angry. At the public place, we notice our ideals are being put to shreds and this boils us up. Surprisingly, we don’t notice all these violations keenly which are occurring in our surroundings. This certainly might cause us to go mad in rage. Why? Firstly, our bodily constitution that has been adopted to ignore such things. Secondly, inadvertently we too have been a part and parcel of the system in violating these factors in the same pattern, just for the convenience. We violate the same ethics and norms and deny the expectation other expect from us. Penned by– Vinay Pharasi —–
