(Recap- In the previous episode we read about the designation of ” chief proctor,” that now had been changed to “rector sir.)
The clout of the college in the name of discipline was so harsh that institution was in the habit to send the postal mails to the parents of strayed students regard their misconduct. But despite of this, every college is given to own some students, who ever remain unruly. As I told earlier, the uppermost category of students in the college belonged to “elite class.” In common, they were children of government officials, reputed doctors, civil engineers and businessmen, pampered from the beginning of the childhood. Specifically boys students. These boys used to have their own formation in shape of a “gang.” These boys were sent to the college by parents for the bright future, but they were given to treat college as a picnic spot.
The Chief Proctor alias “Rector sir” was a fellow in his fifties. But somewhere in his heart he had an amorous inclination for girls students. His this ” habit” was already on the radar of the “gang’ of elite class. Besides Rector Sir was in habit to show off his “disciplinary authority” by jumping “out of the box.” Generally, in every under graduate or graduate standard, a period remained free as a break time. In that leisurely time, students were to entertain the time by installing on the step case of long veranda of the building and in wintry season, out in the open ground basking under the sun in groups having chitchat.
But since the day, Chief Proctor became Rector Sir, to display his attitude to girls students he became harsher in his deportment. In that swag, on a day, before the group of girls’ students, he chided humiliatingly to this “gang ” of elite boys. Boys felt badly offended and from that onward a “cold war” between Rector Sir and elite gang. Though it can’t be said “between” in true sense. Since Rector Sir, resumed to his routine mode but boys felt, as if, they were stripped off before girl students. A mental strife sprouted in them. The outcome of of this mental strife churned out in a unique and weird way. They invented a unique way to retaliate.
For this, they ran an indirect campaign. To achieve the goal, firstly they grew the intimacy with students who basically been with Hindi Medium background, whom English was very poor. The truth was, we students with Hindi medium background didn’t know, what a Chief Proctor or Rector meant. We just happened to apply this term because other used it. This elite gang took us into confidence and let knew us that actual term was “Rectum Sir” not the Rector Sir. At that time, students with Hindi medium background were supposed to possess a very limited English vocabulary that could suffice them to clear the college books prospectus only.
Rather, a biology student very well could know the meaning of “Rectum,” otherwise, a good deal of numbers of students didn’t know the meaning of it at the inception of the drive. Now, with in a month, the term “rectum sir” replaced the “rector sir’ and became fluent on every one’s tongue with out coming into the knowledge of Rector sir. When it came in trend, then we came to know that it neared to the abusive epithet “Asshole.” But the age of adolescence always tends to adopt distorted name for the sake of fun as well. Beside, the truculent attitude of “Rector sir” fueled in spreading this name.
Not this terminology remained confined to our college campus only, gradually, it spread to the campus of another college in vicinity. Students from that college jokingly passed remarks on us students, ” Whether rectum of your Rectum sir is functioning properly?” Another aspect of this drive erupted in a disgusting shape, when after a lapse of time, the “elite gang” released its actual abusive epithet in Hindi version. The one thing was obvious, the day had to come when this game was to become finished. What a “narrative” those boys of “elite gang” had set. And look into the irony of the game, this game got over as a calamity that struck on one of my friend and Me.
We both, I mean, my friend and I were with the same rustic background. We often used to watch Urbanized students smoking cigarette with a style. It ever tempted us and we felt that to become Urban and look advanced, we too should learn cigarette smoking. To imitate them and to experiment the first time smoking of the life , we chose a seclusive corner of the “bicycle stand” of the college. There we were expecting no one to notice us. Grossly engaged in our smoking experiment, we knew not when Rector sir appeared just breathing on our neck. He was just behind me and my friend in front of me was his direct target.
A terror mingled scream ejaculated from his mouth, ” Rectum Sir is here!”
” Come on ! How can Rectum sir be here at this remote corner?” I consoled him. He gestured to my back side with a finger, quivering nervously. I turned behind and found Rector sir staring us with blood shot eyes. He roared, ” You stupid, rustic boys! You don’t know how to pronounce Rector sir?”
” We know sir…” Friend responded nervously. Now he was not in possession of his faculties, ” but those boys forced us to address you by this name as Rectum sir....” friend could mutter only.
“Who boys?” Rector demanded.
” The same boys who wander in a gang sir. ” Friend said faltering. He had begun sweating. ” You both come to my office. Follow me.” He commanded. Both we followed him, nervously trembling with fear. He entered his office, sunk into his chair and spoke in a hoarse voice, “hmm. So they boys given me the name Rectum sir?”
“Yes sir..yes sir …” we both hummed nervously.
“Do you know the meaning of rectum?” he demanded.
” We knew not it before sir! But when your this name became common, they let knew us all its meaning in English as well as in Hindi.” Friend replied soaked in sweat.
“What it meant in English?”
“Sir, they said Asshole…” friend said trembling. The reply infuriated Rector sir to the extinction. He sprung to his feet, ” and what it meant in Hindi?”
“I can’t mention sir. It’s so gruesome and disgusting…”
“You will have to speak that my child, otherwise, I will rusticate you both from the college. Your whole year will be spoiled in an instance.” He thundered and then spoke to me, ” You tell the Hindi version.” The truth was, my throat was completely dried up by the fear of being rusticated. At once I erupted the Hindi version. ( the term in Hindi version is disgusting and used as ugliest, abusive epithet. The explanatory meaning refer to a homosexual man who is in habit to offer his bottom to fulfill unnatural sexual lust to some pervert. In Hindi the first letter of this begins with “gaa.”
Hearing this, Rector sir was so shocked, as if, he happened to touch the bare wire that contained the thousand volts. He collapsed back into his seat. After sometimes he collected himself and asked,” the entire college call me as such?” The friend was under the bout of panic, the terror of being rusticated perhaps gripped him totally. He intervened, ” not here only sir. There in that college, students ask about you by using Hindi version. Further, the entire city know you by the name of Rectum sir now… they have defamed you everywhere sir.” And after that friend sunk into a humiliating silence.
Rector sir was so agitated hearing this all. He forgot we were present there. He begun to express his anguish. Truly say, he lost his temper and mumbled, ” these rascals, bloody bastards, sons of pigs! I too was noticing, why, now a days girls begin to chuckle by putting their hand on mouth when they looked at me. When I visited the city market, people stared at me with strange look. I ever remained under a misconception that they were giving an honor taking me as “rector sir.” While the reality was this one! They left me of no where. I know, I had chided these rascals before girl students long back. Bravo! what a splendid misdemeanor they invented to retaliate.” and after that a deep silence prevailed.
After a short while, he looked at us and asked in tired voice, ” why you are here still? Why not you left the place?”
“Sir…rustication..'” both we friends fumbled collectively.” He forced a tired smile on his face and drawled, ” you have got no fault in this, but remember my one advice. Just keep this conversation to yourselves only. If they can harass a person like me, think what damage they can cause to you. Now leave.” On coming out of the office, we heaved a long sigh of relief. But, still this incidence had not been finished.
At that period of time annual examination of science faculties used to take place in two stages. One as written exam of theory paper. The note books of exams were sent to University office for proper marking. Along with, a practical exam was taken in the college’s lab. It was compulsory to qualify the practical exam. To say, the examiner used to come from the University level, but they worked under the advice and influence of the college administration as which of the students was to given passing, excellent or failing marks. It all happened to decide at the local level.
And here, the elite gang were the culprit who had abortively defused the innovative drive of the Principal sir of acknowledging the post of Rector. Hence, in all certitude, the score was settled at a high level. Every thing already was put into the knowledge of the Principal sir. Elite gang did good in theory exam but all they were “failed” in practical exam. Their entire year got spoiled. Readmission was never allowed in the college. But once again, the designation of “Chief Proctor” revived and Innovative idea of “Rector” abolished. ( End of the Anecdote. ) Penned by — Vinay Pharasi —–