In our life’s journey, we are destined to encounter almost all types of situations appertained to happiness or grief. As for as the situations related to the element of the moments of pleasure is concerned, we tend to enjoy them by the core of our heart. For paradigm, if we are throwing some marriage anniversary or birth day party,we happen to enjoy that. Likely, if occasion relates to the the major event like “wedding ceremony” of some member of the family, we give our all efforts to enjoy every moment of every phase of function hugely and with the contents of our heart.
In our Indian rural community, the occasion of “wedding” of some one in the family is enjoyed with a gala. No doubt, it has been a major event not in the life of the prospective bride or groom but also in the family as a whole. And the degrees of moments of felicity is supposed to touch the acme, if the marriage ceremony is of a son in the family. The spree of jubilation continues on various phases. This may begin from the first phase of fixing of a “relationship” between family, then entering into the celebration of engagement, again in pursuance of engagement, the last and final auspicious “wedding ceremony” is celebrated with jubilation and this function may last for days to come. But after entering into engagement, when a date is fixed for the “wedding ceremony,” then both the parties to the marriage send for printing of wedding invitation card and distribute them accordingly to the kith and kin.
Here host, who in almost all cases is the parent, when delivers “wedding card,” he remains under the spell of pleasure of prospective matrimonial ceremony. Often the expression of felicity we find rested on his face, like his face beaming happily. The incidence, I am going to relate in this story, I had been the witness to this “ceremonial delivery” of invitation card. One fact, I would like to quote; the period of time of this story goes back by the year of 1990 of the last century. At that time population density was quite thinner and often villagers happened to be acquainted about the major events or incidences occurring in the life of other denizens of surrounding villages.
It occasioned, I had visited the place of my relative at certain far away village. In fact, he was my “maternal uncle” in relation. At that time, I was in my prime youth but uncle was in his sixties. I was having a cozy conversation with my Uncle and aunt at their place, mean while, some one from his village whom my uncle addressed as Raithwan ji, visited his house. This gentleman Raithwan ji was on purpose to drop an invitation card of wedding ceremony of his only son to the family of my Maternal uncle. One thing I marked visible was, this host Raithwanji, when delivered the “wedding invitation card” of his only son, the ‘spell of felicity’ he was supposed to have as a part of the expression on his face, he lacked that entirely.
His face was like a slate, and if there any kind of expression be taken notice of; it was of indifference and nonchalance. With the same attitude, he handed over the card to my uncle and monotonously uttered some words to attend the ceremony with entire family. When Raiyhwan ji left the place, I talked about his “nonchalant and indifferent” behavioral mode in delivering the invitation. My this uncle was of about the same age as that of Raithwan ji. I had two propositions in my mind regard the behavioral mode of the Raithwan ji and I revealed that to my uncle. First, either he was reluctant to invite my uncle but was forced to or secondly he was not happy with this nuptial tie of his son but was forced to follow the ceremonial functions under filial attachment.
On my putting up my this conjecture, for a little my Uncle became silent and then spoke, ” It’s not so. Neither he was reluctant to invite me nor unhappy with this nuptial tie of his son as such. He along with his better-half is so happy by this nuptial tie. Truth is, both they have chosen the bride from a good family. But behind his this attitude lies a “constant fear” of psychological type.” This revelation of ‘constant psychological fear’ sparked my curiosity, hence I said, ” This fear sounds weird in itself uncle. I don’t understand you, please give me some details about that,”
Upon this, the story unraveled by uncle was in itself “uncommon,” and hardly heard of. Whatever the story he narrated to me , I am describing that here. Uncle began, “This gentle man, who was here to give the invitation card is Raithwan ji, a Brahman by caste. It seems, the ill fate traveled with him, as if, stuck like a leech. The agonies and miseries he suffered in life, even god should not allocate that kind of miseries to our most hatred enemy. He is about of my age, I mean he is about sixty-five years old now.”
There Uncle stopped short and asked aunt to prepare some tea for us, after that he continued, “Long back, at the age of twenty-three he entered into nuptial tie and began to enjoy domesticity happily. His life was running cozily. In due course of time, his spouse got conceived and timely gave birth to a male child. But no sooner, the infant attended the age of few months, in a short assail of ailment he passed away. That was an old time. You can count on finger. It occurred about the year of 1950, and at that period of time, in our India, no medical facilities in rural areas were available, as we find on today.The couple accepted the misfortune as the “will of the god.” After some months, again his wife got conceived and again gave birth to a male child. Both husband and wife were happy and grateful to the god for compensating them for the loss of first child as such. But look into the “divine constitution,” no sooner child completed the age of one year, suddenly he died away.”
Upon hearing this part, I exhaled and uttered the wordings, ” Oh no Uncle!” Uncle gave me an intent look and continued, ” I would like to quote one interesting thing son! That was an old time and no measure of “protection for child bearing” were heard of at that time in rural side. I mean, no concept of family planning in shape of contraceptive prevailed. Otherwise also, when a child happened to remain in the lap of a mother as a nascent of few months, mother was supposed to get pregnant advertently or inadvertently. It was a common phenomenon at that time. But no such happening occurred with this couple. I am stressing upon this fact only, since the wife of this Raithwan ji got conceived only, when she lost her existing child. And you won’t believe me, she begot six children prior to this existing son and all they were male child. All those six children happened to passed away before reaching the age of three years of age.”
Again uncle took a little pause and looked into my face amusingly. Though in between the serious story, his this look flabbergasted me. But it seemed, old man somewhere intended to show me how the ” hand of god” worked. He continued again, ” After the demise of third son, when lady again got pregnant the couple were somewhere ascertained about their accursed fate that fourth child too won’t survive. And their this surmise too proven correct. Fourth child too was a son and he too passed away in his early infancy. This series of demise of children continued up to the sixth male child in infancy.”
he stopped again and after a while began, ” just you tell me son! If six children of a couple pass away one after another in early infancy and they beget seventh male child; what future such parents can anticipate about the last born child. Obviously the constant fear of sudden demise of seventh son will ever hover in their mind or not?” I gave a consenting nod to second his opinion. Uncle kept on saying, ” Son, you might be knowing properly, in our Hindus, infants are not cremated but given a burial. This Raithwan ji has been so scared about the survival of his existing son. Whenever, any one used to talk about the well being of his this last son, he abruptly reiterates, ” I have filled up six pits as burial grave. Now I don’t foster any sort of attachment for my this living son. I always live under the constant fear ‘day in and day out’… whether some day ….”
when my uncle said this, his voice too got choked in emotions, but he continued, ” the hugest loss and massive sufferings for parents is, when their child dies before their eyes. The same agony and miseries they suffered again and again in their life time. And still when their son is of marriageable age and they have fixed his marriage, they are living under the same constant fear. No doubt, they are distributing the the invitation card of the same son but under the same constant fear. How can you expect the “expressions of pleasure” under the “shadow of death.” He concluded the story.
When uncle finished the story, the Aunt who too had joined us in between as a silent audience and somewhere too were well acquainted with the ill fate of Raithwan couple, took the end of talk in hand and said, ” Son, those six children, who left the world’ one thing is obvious about them. It seemed god had not made some one as their life partner on this earth. Here in our vernacular a saying goes, “marriages are arranged in the heaven and solemnized on the earth.” Now the bride with whom the marriage of this seventh son got fixed, she is the auspicious girl. By her luck this boy is supposed to complete his full life span accordingly. In this world, the luck of one person correlates to another. You understand the picture!” I knew, aunt were not literate but not an ignorant one, when she said all this in a brief, and her opinion too had a philosophical logic.
P.s. — As on to day, old man Raithwan ji, my maternal uncle and aunt, none of them is alive, all they left for heavenly abode, but still the seventh son of Raiyhwan ji is alive, flourishing with his children and carrying his legacy. (End of the Story) —Penned by — Vinay Pharasi —–
