Some Great regrets in common…..

We all are subject to some sorts of regrets in our life. Firstly, what a regret is? How can it be defined? To me it seems, regret is the emotional situation which may occur as the repercussion of some mistake, incidence etc. May be, this mistake done or committed intentionally or unintentionally, and pines the man who was responsible for that. Further, the feeling of repent, may recur once or at several times in the mind, depending upon the sensitiveness of the person involved as such.

                                            Categories of regret

 Regrets may be of various categories. Regret may be short term regret, long term and perennial or perpetual regret or of eccentric regret.  This depends, upon the situation and intensity of its pricking of the conscience. Some regrets are trifle in nature and wash away from the memory shortly. Meant they don’t prick our conscience for long, may be categorized as short term regrets. . But some regrets register their presence in our life so deeply. Despite of all efforts, we can’t erase them from our memory bank, these are long term regrets.

There may be a long list of regrets of different categories. One may regret for the “wrong” committed in the prime youth that could be avoided easily. Another fellow suspires to lose the one time golden opportunity in life. But, one regret is of “perennial or perpetual” kind in its intensity. Every person may have the same “regret,” about the same “subject” but with different modus operendi.  This regret in itself is of “Great kind of regret.”

                                     Great kind of regret

 When I am talking of this type of “regret”, I am narrating this under the light of experiences of people of bygone days, or past generation of Indian middle class. As it often happens, in the prime youth every man or boy (in fact it,s boy) feels an attraction towards some specific girl. Likewise the same situation may be with a girl either in this way or otherwise, that supposed to come ahead, in form of situational tragedy. With regard boys of that period of time, the feelings of love towards some girl , generally occurred like one way traffic. Meant,  in maximum cases, it was never ascertained, whether the girl liked  by the boy was able to know about the inclination of boy towards her. 

The causes behind was mainly hesitation on the part of boy( due to fear of denial of love proposal and post humiliation in one’s eyes.) The boy, not mustering the required courage to say, “I love you.”  As such, no any progress was made on this front, and almost cases were like nipping the buds. In other words, “untimely demise of love story at the primary stage,” but with perpetual scars on the heart. As the life was bound to go on, this type of defeated paramour too happened to get wedded with some other girl, in the customary way of social system. Often, after some years of conjugal love, life turned up into a hell.

                                                 love lorn regret

 There, husband and wife get engaged in daily conflicts, ceremoniously or unceremoniously on trifle issues. It becomes a routine in which badly disappointed husband often regrets for his cowardliness in the past. He regrets for not mustering the courage to make a candid proposal of love to the girl he loved enormously. In the vista of memoirs, he finds himself uttering the great words, “Love you…..will you marry me ..” type dialogues.

In that vista, he looks himself handing over her a love letter. One step ahead…walking with her hand in hand in past time. Then, with a heave of sigh he regrets, “Alas ! Had she been my better half today. Never such kind of daily quarrels I would have confronted.” This detail of regret was of a man with a lost love. A defeated love lorn .

                               Regret of successful paramour

 Now come to the story of successful couple . The couple whose love story reached a happy ending and turned up into a wedlock. There too, no sooner honey mooning period is over, the love fever begins to dip down. After some time, the cruel ground realities of household affairs, too create the same daily conflicts on minor issues. Here, this also generates the series of regrets….

First on the part of husband, the reaction is of the kind,” Hell with this all..What a great mistake of life I committed, by slipping on the charming face of this woman only.  Much far better than her was, her friend who ever tried to allure me ……Though she she was not so bright complexioned as this hag. But she would have loved me amply, had I married her , at least she would extend full respect, in the sense a husband deserves. Oh god! What rubbish I brought in home in the name of love…..”

                                                      Another facet

 Now come to the facet of woman side. In such quarrels between the couple of arranged marriage, she also recalls the list of paramours, with whom no final settlement could be reached in, and pines in regret. Those who were lucky to get wed-locked with the chosen lover.  They too have another kind of regret, “Daddy had had so many other good offers of suitable boys in hand.

How the families of the boys were solicitous to take me as the bride, but it was my stupid move …..How come my mind got ‘black out’ for this man. Had I married with that another man, so cozy, comforting and luxurious life would live today. How he cares his wife, takes her on long drive in his sedan car and this one my husband, he rides on his old, tired out motor bike.”

                                            Eccentric regret

 Some regrets we may sort out as “eccentric kind.” I have one friend who foster latitudinarianism for Western World and life style. Never he landed upon any foreign country, not even visited the Nepal. The reason for not visiting other countries was “financial crisis.” And for this crisis,  he puts blame for being born here only. He ever repents, ” What a rubbish life is here in this conservative country. Had I been born in some European country, life would be great, full of all amenities and pleasures. Oh god, you are at liberty to give me the next birth as a dog, but on condition of being borne in Europe only.”

                                                  laden with weird regrets

In this list, some persons find the fault of their parents for getting them into this World. ” Look….What a hapless I am? I was conceived by them, to be born in the family of this grocery shop owner. It,s out of comprehension, if god planned me to be born in this grocery shop owner as a businessman , he too could have managed to send me to the family of some Industrialist.” Every one is living a life laden with his own weird regrets and they blame fate for this.

Friends, if this life was not painted with the discomfort, miseries and disappointment, how could we assess the importance of “felicity.” Just take the example of “defeated love affair.” We remember it with anguish, whole through our life time. Only because it proved an unsuccessful drive. And don’t forget, every time we recall it, we add some imaginary factors in our memoirs. We can not imagine happiness without the existence of bad weather. Further, the element of “self contentment” has to be searched out inside our heart. Otherwise, no one is as happier in the sense, as the parameters of happiness index are fixed for . Penned by — Vinay Pharasi…..