Simple answer to this query I certainly have! Answer is, “I am that fool!” And I am going to authenticate this fact with the support of some paradigms. It’s the “Universal truth” that every person lives a life laden with certain misconceptions. I am also living the life in the same way. As far as, first most conception I am instilled with is that I consider myself an scholar or pundit, and this helps suffuse me with a dilemma that I should enlighten other people by dint of my erudition. Under the same impression of misconception, I am running this blog website. I ever insist to impose my erudition upon the poor reader, who by mischance visits my website.
The irony of my this “drive” is, my website hardly attracts traffic of visitors. Secondly, if a visitor, by error once visits my site, hardly he chooses to visit again. This is my conclusion and I an not wrong in judging the matter. And when you insist upon not being a wrong person, it’s also an evidence of being a fool. Despite of all this, undeterred I remain engaged in my efforts to illumine people intellectually. This again proves that “I am a fool.” Now come to the next piece of the evidence. Since, I consider myself an intellectual person and to support my this misconception as an intellectual, daily, early in the morning I peruse the newspaper with pomp and show.
Perusing the newspaper instills into me a motivation that I am at somewhat upper wrung of the ladder of intellectualism. This perusal of newspaper, as usual remains loaded with with the routine kinds of news. I mean, the newspaper contains local news of politics, destruction, accident and crime etc. Apart from the local news, it also contains news of national and international level as well. By going through all these kinds of news, it always occurs to me that the leadership, be that of local level or national or international level, all they are incompetent in dealing with people problems.
God knows only, why a tremendous thought always haunts me that had I been in place of such local, national or international leadership, I could have solved all those probables at the snap of finger. Further, in my fancy, I put myself in place of that leadership and amazingly, I found all those problems solved quickly in seconds. This kind of “thoughtfulness” is considered as in falling into ” hallucination or mental disorder” in medical science. Surprisingly, I am always bound to come out of that situation after a short while. On coming to the normalcy, the truth reveals to me, I was trying to give somewhat impossible efforts, that was out of strength. It also occurs, I was wasting my energy without any cause. This again authenticates that “I am a fool.”
After perusing newspaper, I keep myself engaged in scrolling down the social media accounts. By going through the contents of social media, I am again encountered with a “horrible truth.” This horrendous truth makes me realize, there are innumerable people in this world, who are much more proficient than me and are engaged in the same drive to illumine the life of people of rest of the world. I found them ahead of me in drive to enlighten the world. Since, most of them apply the “visual effect medium” of reels or video in the drive and their striking rate but natural is much higher than me. This all hurt me badly and a surge of disappointment engulfs me. They people seem to me, as if, riding on the success wagon and I stood on a deserted path alone. This makes me feel a perfect fool.
In next step, it occurs to me, in this world every person is busy in enlightening the life of others by producing the flux of knowledge. The afterthought haunts me, when every person is dispersing the knowledge then who is the recipient of this knowledge. Finally, after watching all these contents to the extinction, when I keep my phone at rest, I experience a bizarre mood. An irritating feeling reminds me that whatever contents in this long duration I watched, nothing of that I remember now. This puts me in a dilemma, as if, my mind reached to a “rotten stage” permanently. Now, a man with a “rotten mind”, indubitably is categorized as a fool either and again it proves the “I am a fool.”
Another fact, since I am a man inclined to desk work and in most of the time remains confined within walls of my house. I happened to live in a misconception that despite my being confined to my precincts, my neighbors recognize me as a decent person. But it too proven as the height of my foolhardiness. It occurred to me people in my vicinity hardly recognize me as a decent man. Through my name plate hung on the main door they know me by name only. To them I am an arrogant and “that type” of man. As every one knows, “that type” man simply connotes a “fool” in their dictionary. This fact also highlights my opinion about myself that “I am a fool.”
In this world, every person is supposed to have his own type of social circle. I too maintain this “social circle,” and in true sense, this social circle is crowded with intellectuals. Occasionally, I happened to to come across this “crowd” at some local seminar type gathering. It amazes me, every one of them highlights his or her arrival with such a pompous grace, as if, this Universe is being run by virtue of their inttelctual maneuverability only. In their conversation, they pose themselves with such a confidence and hypocrisy about socio-political issues, as though, the ecosystem of my Country is being run by virtue of their knowledge only.
Never in my life, I could come at par in display of this hypocritical demeanor to them. Before them, always I been infested with an inferiority complex. This inferior feeling always poked my conscious deep down and recall me repeatedly that “I am a fool.” In total, I have come to a conclusion, a person who ably can befool other people is not a fool. I too tried on occasions to befool other people but my every effort got misfired with adverse output. Again this failure led me to believe that “I am certainly a perfect fool.” Penned by — Vinay Pharasi —–
