Though to be in a “state of disappointment” is also one of the aspects of the sadness. In fact, a disappointed man apparently looks sad one. But, if we count the ‘degrees’ or intensity of the “sadness,” we find various types of the sadness. For example, milder sadness, regret, sorrow, deep sorrow and at the extreme- the grief , we too encounter in the life. In this blog, “disappointment vis – a – vis with low intensity is being described. No doubt extreme sadness in the form of “grief” too takes place in the life of every person at some bend of life. But nothing can mend the grief but the “time as a healer.” and to some extent only. The scar of grief always remains there.
Paradigm of grief
The one paradigm of grief is, old aged parents bereaved by the untimely demise of a grown up son. This category of deep sorrow is so massive, it brings so many other complications along with. What so ever efforts bereaved parents give efforts to get rid of this “loss”, that always proves insufficient, since the “loss” is irreparable.They may opt for for “spiritual solace” etc, but the result always is ephemeral only. The grief always brings a “vacuum” in the life, that never can be fulfilled by any device.
Now we come back to the milder kind or some heavier kind of sadness, that generates disappointment. Although, every sadness as per its intensity generates disappointment. But, the impact remains lighter in comparison to the grief. Lighter category of sadness may lead you to a state of frustration but grief in all probabilities may push you in a “state of depression.” It’s not easier to come out of that depression, if not impossible. It’s so arduous to get rid of the depression.
Paradigm of disappointment
The paradigm of “lighter kind of sadness” that generates disappointment may be cited by the incidence of some students of a class room. Every class room contains a good number of students. All they appear in annual final exams. Out of them, about 5-10% get failed. As per our Indian educational norms, failed declared students ably don’t achieve the bar of passing marks of 33% in every subject. Though this category carries more intensity of sadness.
Look! Now some of failed students console themselves, ” I am not the only looser, others too got failed.” Some other defeated may console, ” Come on, it’s been good. In next attempt I will qualify the exams. What at the utmost this failure may bring to me. May be my parents deprive me of the further schooling only and call for me to join the family business.” All these students seem optimist by this mind set. May be one or two of them imagine of a bleak future too.
But in contrast to these failure students, look at the mind set of another student, who just scored the 80% as the passing marks. But he seems at the verge of tears. His jaws hung to his chest, for he was expecting to score about 95% of the marks.When his this state of mind revealed to a failed student, he laughs at him , ‘ alas! had I scored 40% marks only, I was to dance in a hip- hip- hurrey fashion.” What all this is? This is the way, how we perceive the things in life only! This phenomenon varies from man to man. It’s akin to a situation in a public fair, where a little child whimpers to own a colored balloon and is happy when his parent buys him that balloon. He is so happy to be in possession of the balloon, whilst on the same, another child who was vending balloons is too happy by the sale of the same balloon. he thinks, ” thanks god, my balloon is sold out and I have earned some money!”
Friend, it’s life. Every one looks into it with his own colored glasses and it goes on as such. Not necessarily, today’s defeat certainly would bring fatal consequences. Might be, it’s giving you a valuable lesson. Penned by Vinay Pharasi —–
