Is there some specific scale to measure the standard of honesty? Upon being asked this question, you may come at a loss of words. But in our diurnal life there exists some scales to measure this “honesty or sincerity.” For that purpose, you will have to examine your own self. The first most scale of the answer depends upon your friend circle. Upon this proposition, your easy opinion certainly be of the kind, “all they are decent and civilized .” Here only, you get defeated. First reason is, presence of element of jealousy, that afflicts every one barring a few exception. Now you may ask, ” how come this is proven?”
To authenticate, I am providing an answer. On the road when you take notice of a man riding on a costly vehicle like Mercedes Benz or Fortuner car. It doesn’t generate any sense of jealous inside your mind. Since, he is a stranger for you and you tend to take him as a successful person in his life. By looking at him you are impressed by his status. But, if in place of that stranger, in near future, you find your some friend or relative or acquaintances; who some days ago was at par with your own status, you at once become afflicted with a surge of jealous. The first most jealous laden opinion that strikes your mind will be, ” How this scoundrel managed to own such a costly vehicle?”
Here only, your sincerity about your relationship with that person comes under question! Whether a people stranger to you have got the right to live a cozy and comfortable life only, but not your own friends, relatives or acquaintances. This makes you badly afflicted with the sense of jealousy. In your instant imagination you begin to imagine, all this facility your friend or relatives certainly would have maneuvered by applying some unlawful means. Why it happens? You too could have felt a sense of pleasure by looking at him. But, since you were not sincere to him inside your heart, hence this malice captured your mind!
An another sort of instance we often observe inside our friend circle. We are given to backbite or criticize our every friend behind him. But when he is present in person in the circle, we behave with him so sweetly and smartly, as if, no other than him is most affectionate in our eyes in this world. This kind of deportment may be worth noticing in collective mannerism of almost all friends regard one another. Why it happens? Only because of sense of jealous, as an outcome of not being at par with friend.
Again, in such friend circle, there may happen to exist a friend, who in general bears the expenditure of entire gathering on tea, snacks or sometimes of drinks as a generous fellow. But behind him, other fellows criticize him for his this generosity in round about manner. It’s an irony, you happen to feed upon his benevolence and also lay blame on him. Along with, all such fellows blaming him too issue a certificate of honesty to one another collectively except the benevolent one. This sense of jealous is nothing but a sign of frustration of failure collectively.
It is obvious and a Universal rule; whom you criticize behind him, he certainly comes to know about that sooner or later. And this happens only in a way that one of the fellows out of this “collective critics” too relates him all this backbiting. But the amusing aspect of all this backbiting on the part of the “financier friend” is; despite of all this, he keeps on maintaining his regular visit in the circle. The reason behind is, he is a successful man in the life and knows very well that unsuccessful men always criticize the successful man. This backbite or criticism doesn’t bring any pain or hurt to him.
The notion ” to be honest to whom” in itself is so callous. In bare circumstances, we can manage to be sincere or honest to one another. Being a parent, you can manage to your children up to a certain age group only. This sense exists till the time, you feel them of tender age and unable to protect themselves. When your children attain an age and stand to their own feet, then your sense of sincerity towards them begin to ebb away, but hardly you notice these changes. Since, that is a juncture of life when you don’t foster the same warmth of sincerity towards them.
Likely to that, same changes occur in children towards parents. Till a certain age, children don’t conceal anything from the parents but after attaining a substantial age, they begin to lie to their parents. And if they are not given to speak a lie to the parents, they in all certainly begin to conceal some facts from the parents. Likewise, the same kind of phenomenon begins to take place between the relationship in spouses. After a lapse of time, in married life, a coldness in relationship begins to rise, that later on shapes into a rift in relationship. This is an outcome of gradual decaying of element of trust or honesty for one another.
About the friend circle’s deportment, I already have mentioned. Otherwise also, in other aspects of life between friends, this keeps on going. For a paradigm, if you are a professional or businessman , then your business ethics hinder you to become honest with your friends. Though some discount in another way you may opt to provide. To say, if you are in the business of a clothier, there your friends or relatives or acquaintances are expected to visit your premise for shopping. As a friend you may suggest them to buy quality products Only. There lies a lesser probability of your compromising about the price of the items. These are professional hazards in the name of business ethics.
It occurs in every field of life. We always in our first preference explore and exploit our friends, relatives and acquaintances. Though apparently in dealing with them, we show off, as if, we are selling them our products on “no profit, no loss” basis. Apart from, as an exception, we too find some friends in our life, who damn care of “profit or loss” in personal dealings as a cordiality. Our past generation was rich in this aspect, when friendly relations were given an upper hand. Though, numbers of such kind of friends too were limited and could be counted on finger tips easily. Our life has got a fixed format to run like this way. We expect from every one to be honest with us. But how much we are honest to them, never we give a thought about that. Penned by — Vinay Pharasi —–
